LOVE THAT RUINS

“ The cruelest thing a man can do to a woman, is to let her fall in love, when he doesn’t intend to catch her ” – Mae West

“He uses and throws away”, said one of my friends about his boss. He was not talking about the designer wear or the electronic items that his boss used and threw away but about his girlfriends. He proudly claimed that his boss was an expert in enticing the woman he desired to catch and that he had a superb choice. “Does he really love the woman?”, I asked. To which he replied, “Its all for change and fun, then its someone else.” And how does the woman react? “Some shout, some weep but at the end boss has got rid of her.” Many men consider women a usable property. Enticing women becomes easy for men who have power and money. For such men winning over beautiful women’s hearts is a matter of pride and ego satisfaction. These men misuse the beautiful word ‘love’ to fulfill their selfish motives. Once accomplished, they violate the women. And to justify their act prove the women ‘sour grapes’.

EMOTIONAL WEAPON
Elsamma was hired as a secretary at a large textile company. To her dismay, she found that her boss asked her to work late with him on several projects. He spent much of his time telling her about his personal problem including his unsatisfactory relationship with his wife. He told that his wife not only had a bad nature but also had a bad character. He usually apologized to Elsamma for keeping her at work so late and offered her dinner. Elsamma sympathized with him and accepted his proposal after he promised to divorce his wife and marry her.

One day when her boss did not come to the office, Elsamma decided to visit him at his house. There she saw her boss cracking jokes to his wife and playing with his children. She also found his wife to be a good natured and decent woman.

Next day when Elsamma asked for an explanation, she was fired from the company under the pretext of inefficient work.

SHOWERING FAVOURS
Radhika, an undergraduate, and her family were in great financial trouble after the accidental death of her father. Her cousin’s friend offered her a job. He frequently visited Radhika’s house and tried to be helpful to them in every possible way. He even arranged for heavy medical expenses when her mother met with an accident. Very soon he made a place in Radhika’s heart. She considered him to be a person on whom she could depend. She did not understand his intentions behind all the favours.

Radhika accepted his proposal. For some time he kept a relationship with her. Suddenly he severed all ties with her, after going to the USA. Meanwhile Radhika was asked to either pay all the medical expenses incurred or quit the job without taking the salary. Radhika quit her job.

PRAISING TO LURE
There was a rich guy who called Juli a perfect girl to start a family with. He used to criticize the lifestyle of rich women, having meaningless ego and snobbish nature. He always compared the goodness of Juli to rich women and his desire to live a simple and middle-class life. His praises made Juli feel that they were made for each other. He behaved in such a sincere way that could fool anyone.

He took Juli to grand hotels and restaurants and showered her with many gifts. Juli hardly realized that all the praises were to lure her and got involved with him. After some months one day from a close friend she realized that he was already engaged to a rich girl. When she asked for an explanation from him, he cursed her to be a middle-class girl, having a middle-class mentality and violated her. The incident made such a bad impact on her mind that she remained depressed for much time and is not able to trust any man.

ACTING THE PERFECT GUY
Rani was an educated, smart and independent woman. She was confident in her decisions. One of her colleagues knew that enticing Rani would not be easy. After finding out what kind of man attracted Rani he acted the same in front of her.

Rani could not understand the real person behind him and got carried away in his acting. After a few months she found that he was having a live-in relationship with another woman. She reached his house, fought with him and finally asked him to make a choice. He chose the other girl.

It is very important for a woman to understand the man completely before accepting his proposal to avoid exploitation of any kind. Here are some tips that can be followed before accepting the proposal:

• Find out what people have to say about him and his reputation. Take each word seriously.
• Get information about his past. If he had a relationship break-up then do find out the reason for the same.
• ‘ A man is known by the company he keeps ‘. Get details about his family background and friend-circle. Try to judge him accordingly.
• Answers to questions like, Where does he spend his free time? What does he think about women? What sort of women-friends he has? Will help you to judge his character.
• Insist that he gives you all his contact numbers, addresses. Make surprise calls and pay surprise visit to find whether they are correct or not.
• If he is showering unrealistic praises and extra favours then caution yourself. He may be trying to lure you for his wrong intentions.
• If he is trying to force you for something that you don’t wish, then strictly let him know about it even if he happens to be your boss, friend or someone else.
• Let your parents, close friends or some elder person to whom you are close know that he has proposed you and ask for their opinion. Take their opinion seriously.
• Don’t meet him at any private place alone or take such favours that binds you to him.
• Don’t blindly trust his each word. Try to find the truth in it. If you have doubt about something don’t let it go. Ask him to explain.